Everything's Relational

Everything is relational.

The sooner we all understand this, in my opinion, the better. Everything in life is based on its relationship to something, or someone else.

Human beings are social animals. We cannot control this. 

Don't believe me?

A man has become disillusioned with society. He has decided that he is through with this turbulent existence in our materialistic society and is leaving it all behind to go live an esoteric life atop a mountain somewhere in Nepal. There he he has decided he will live off the land for the rest of his days practicing yoga and will never again interact with another human being.

First, I would say to him; "Good luck with that, sir." 

Second, without realizing it, in this decision alone he has affected hundreds, if not potentially thousands of people.

How is that possible, you ask?

Our protagonist is like a pebble dropped into a still pond. With his act of secession, the ripples begin to appear. The inner rings reflect his married life, where his devoted wife is without her husband and has no support in raising their children. Perhaps her income is not enough to survive on. Perhaps the couple settled away from extended family and the comfort and aid they might provide.

The next ring made in our metaphorical pond may be those children living their lives without without a father. A son without a male figure there to show him what being a man is all about, and a daughter with no positive male role model on which she can depend for guidance and learn independence.

Further rings would include the man's employer who has lost a valuable member of his team. His coworkers who now have to make up for his absence by performing his work duties in addition to their own. Still further, we see his community and the local businesses his income supported. 

If we carry this idea even further out, we can imagine a ring that would be his government, no longer able to count on the tax revenue our character once provided. One could even make the stretch that this absence of tax revenue could adversely affect those who receive services from that government.

Like the rings our pebble made in the pond, the ones closest to the source are the most intense, and the effects the most severe. 

How about another example? 

Instead of living on a mountain top, suppose our character dies, and we are silent observers at his funeral.

How one person's life impacts others can be measured in the grief of those who mourn. Presumably his family will be the most severely affected. His children, his siblings. Then come his friends, his coworkers and so on. 

Our interactions with others make the world go 'round. The sooner we understand that each of us affects countless others in countless ways each and every day, the sooner we can begin to accept responsibility for ourselves and our duty to our fellow human beings. 

Even with the smallest choices we make and actions we take ripple into potential infinity. 

That ripple effect can begin with your first "good morning," or whether or not you use your turn signal before changing lanes on the expressway to work. One can brighten the morning of someone who is off to a rough start, while the other may cause an ill feeling the person you inadvertently cut off on the turnpike, which they carry with them all day. In each of these circumstances a relationship--albeit a brief one--was formed.

It can make your brain hurt why you try and wrap it around how much impact we have on the lives of others--even those who don't realize it! Each and every interaction is a relationship, whether we like it or not. This is a theme that we will visit and revisit over and over in the posts to come. 

So the next time you forget to use your turn signal, and cut off the surly looking guy on the orange Harley, its okay, just smile and say "good morning."

We are still savages.