Season Two: "My First Cell Phone"

Last season ended with my intent to focus on a more organized essay style to the blog, and so for those of you who are returning to follow my ramblings, I want to talk about my first cell phone. That's right. Nearly twenty five years ago I invested in a bag phone for my Pontiac Sunbird. How cool was I in the mid 1990's? I won't lie. It was a status symbol. A toy that I picked up on a whim. It wasn't until years later that I purchased another, for very different reasons.

I had a phone then, so that my wife could let me know when our daughter, Marissa was not doing well. I have had and have used cellular devices as a means of communication, like the rest of society has ever since... well almost like the rest of society.

Come on, if any of you have followed me in "Season One," you know darned well that cell phones are not what I will be talking about in the season premiere of "Still Savages."

Take a look at the video I have posted here below. I have to warn you... It's brutal. If you have a weak stomach, don't watch. But I do think that it is important that you do.

I was first introduced to this video through one of the many hand-to-hand combatives and martial arts groups I subscribe to on social media. It was, not shocking to me, but still the sheer brutality and cowardice was something that struck me. What struck me even harder (no pun intended) was some of the commentary that came later.

I made the comment "This is what I mean when I talk about the loss of a fundamental value of human life in this country. We talk about how barbaric other cultures are, here we just let the cameras roll while people are beaten perhaps to death in the street."

And just to bring things full circle, I should add that I also said "I remember when I got my first cell phone... it was to call for help in emergencies..."

The response that I received was not shocking.

A very well spoken and respectful gentleman responded to my comment by saying that "Actually society today is a lot better than it used to be. Crime in the past was more brutal and plentiful. Despite media images we live in a less barbaric era than past generations."

I have to admit, that I agree. We are less "barbaric" than our ancestors who came to this land, and decimated it's indigenous population. Slaughtering thousands and forcing them onto "reservations." 

We are certainly less barbaric than those who came before us, owning, selling human beings as property. Previous generations I have known in my own lifetime, were born only a few years after abolition!

We are more civilized even than those generations who placed our  own U.S. citizens of Asian ancestry in internment camps because of our Japanese enemies in World War II. 

We are certainly less barbaric than the generation that violently assaulted my own own teacher who is by ancestry and birth ethnic Chinese, after the war in Vietnam.

I have to agree with that well spoken and educated poster... We have certainly come a long way. But "crime" is not the only way to judge the loss of the value of human life.

But what that individual seems to have missed is... well the entirety of what I said. Our decreasing homicide statistics do not show that we value human life any more in this country than we did two hundred years ago. One of the very founding principals of this great nation--that all are created equal seems to be lost on the hangup that violent crime is down.

Every day, some sources say up to 125,000 abortions take place.

Every day, some sources say over 5,000 people visit the emergency room for drug abuse related issues.

Every day, some sources say that over 3,000 people are sold into slavery--mostly for sex.

Every day, some sources say up to 30 people are murdered.

Every day, some of us get up and try their damnedest to change some of those statistics into success stories, while every day some of us take our cell phones and record people being beaten instead of calling for help. 

We have lost the respect for human life in this country, and we don't even see it. We see it as something that happens to "other people" or to "those people" or to "those less fortunate." While we sit in our living rooms in front of our big screen televisions and become outraged at the beheadings of our citizens at the hands of terrorist groups like ISIS, we take time to adjust the zoom and focus on our cameras,  as we film people being beaten, bullied, robbed and worse.

Oh yes, my friends...

We are still savages.

Season One Finale Part Two: Not like the Good Old Days

Last week, I talked about my past experiences with being victimized, and what that taught me. You can disagree with me all you like, but the fact remains, that in those precious moments before help arrives (if it arrives at all) you, and only you will keep yourself alive. 

I have offended half a dozen or so people whom I have already had the conversation we are about to have, in the past two weeks, and I am truly sorry for that. No "but" coming next. It is too bad that people can't realize that sometimes "social justice" just has to take a back seat to common sense, and not everything is a "cause." By my stating that we are responsible for our own safety, I have been accused by some for "victim blaming." So this week I will clarify. There are two points that I wish to make. One, is that the choices we make will have consequences. 

I stand with Emma Watson, as she faces the threats of anonymous hackers who promise to expose her very private moments to the world. The highly publicized exploitation of Jennifer Lawrence, and now the looming threat of similar violations in the future for Ms. Watson are beyond  despicable, and I believe the source of most of the backlash I have received has been due to the fact that the victims are indeed all women. Scarlett Johansen, Mila Kunis and Vanessa Hudgens have all been victims of this act (and I might point out that these women did not receive nearly the public outcry that Lawrence or Watson have received).

Now, those who took issue with my position have countered with a number of statements, for the most part the argument is based on the exploitation of women. 

This is absolutely true. You will not get a single argument from me regarding this being anything but an affront to Ms. Watson as a woman. Were someone like Channing Tatum to have made a similar speech, I seriously doubt that he would be subjected to the mind games and intimidation that Ms. Watson has been forced to deal with since her commendable statements on gender equality. But until our misogynistic culture decides to stand up and do something about the deplorable treatment of women, we will continue to have these issues. We will continue to experience what I did in the French Quarter. Until women themselves decide that it is not okay to work at Hooters, or Scores, or to work for Larry Flynt, and men decide to support them by not contributing to this culture, it will continue.

My response was this:

"One thing that has come to mind for me, is that no one can post nude photos of me online, because... well... there aren't any. Unless my mom has some baby pictures of me floating in the cloud somewhere, I am good to go. Please don't get me wrong--this is horrible, and Ms. Watson should not have to endure this at all, and it is her right to take whatever photos she chooses. I simply wish that people realized that in this day and age nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred."

The responses were swift. Some came from my own household.

"So if someone breaks into my house to steal my computer, it's my fault because I had a computer?"

"I mean, all these school shootings are horrible, and no one should have to endure their child being murdered, but this could never happen to me, I don't have kids."

"The images came from her phone. She should be able to have anything she wants on her phone. It is in her possession."

"Too bad Joe Schmoe's big screen TV got stolen. Don't get me wrong-it was terrible of those thieves to take his TV, but I don't have to to worry about that because I don't have a big TV."

The fact that people did not like my statement does not change the fact that nothing is safe  and nothing is sacred. This is the world we live in. If someone wants to hurt you badly enough, they will. I will also say again, that you will not find naked pictures of me on line because there aren't any. This is not the same as owning a big screen television, or a nice Macbook in your home. Your home is a physical place where you legally have an expectation of privacy and security. It is yours because you own it. These things are not kept in "the cloud."

We are well into the age of the internet, which is owned by... Nobody. In spite of repeated examples, the world still hasn't figured  out that the internet is NOT a safe place. Identity theft, human trafficking, embezzlement, prostitution... All thrive in cyberspace. The internet isn't your home. You do not own it, and there can be none of the same expectation of privacy. The same rules and standards that apply to your home do not apply in the information that exists in this electronic space out there somewhere.

These are nothing like the "Good Ole Days." It is now commonly known that the NSA is able to use our own webcams against us, it should be pretty clear that if the government can do it (legally) than the criminals are just as able, and possibly more motivated.

We sometimes fail to realize that anything we own that sends a message out to the World Wide Web is shaky ground. We don't think of our phones as being something that can be remotely accessed, and we certainly don't think of the cloud as just what it sounds like , something jut floating around out there. How can we protect ourselves, our personal information and thoughts? How do we keep our intimate moments hidden from prying eyes? We harden our target. Better yet, don't give them a target at all.

Celebrities are already exposed, just by the choice that they make to get in front of a camera. Personally, I believe that they are more than adequately compensated for some of the risks that they take, but if you must take issue with something, if you want to take up a cause, don't point your fingers at me and put me on blast for "victim blaming." If you want to get on a soapbox and defend Emma Watson's honor, remember that simply performing a Google search for "Emma Watson Naked" will result in over twenty five million results. I know. I just looked. These images are already there, not leaked. The creations of hundreds if not thousands of twisted minds with too much time on their hands and access to photoshop. You will have your work cut out for you.

So my second point is this:

Our society is okay with this. It isn't just our society. It is global society. The cause you should be taking up is why these hackers are making threats towards Ms. Watson in the first placese images are there because there is an audience for them. These images are there because people want to see them. Until we can change this aspect of our society, women will still be objectified and seen as something other than an equal.

Steve Thompson of Central Michigan University has developed an amazing program that addresses bystander mentality in sexual assault and violence as well as stalking called No Zebras No Excuses. The philosophy behind this program is fitting in these cases as well, when men who choose not to participate in objectifying and disrespectful behavior towards women do not actively discourage such behavior by their peers. 

The idea is that when a lion stalks a zebra, they select the weakest target, and bring the zebra down. As the lion attacks, the remaining herd runs away-but once the zebra falls, the rest of the zebras will stop running and resume their grazing-often within only a few yards of the kill. Thompson's position is: what if the zebras didn't run? What if the zebra's decided to fight back when they saw a member of their herd becoming a victim of the lions?

The concept translates to people pretty easily, doesn't it. Men, when you see a woman being treated inappropriately, do not allow it to continue. If that woman was your mother, or your sister, or your girlfriend or wife being treated that way, would you stand for it? Well that woman being mistreated is someone's mother or sister or girlfriend. She is important to someone. 

I am sorry if I offended anyone with what they perceived to be my "victim blaming." I sincerely and truly am. My original statement is nothing I will back away from, however many people I have offended. The idea behind it is one that I will share with my own daughters--and my sons. Time and time again, I have seen the youth that I work with devastated when someone gets ahold of the images they have on their phones and make them public. The choice to make sexually explicit images or videos is just that, a choice. 

When we make choices there are consequences, in some cases unforeseen consequences. Stacie Halas  lost her job as a middle school teacher due to her career in pornography in a "previous life," and Robert Marucci found himself kicked out of his Florida High School for legally acting in a pornographic film. I tell my children that if you don't want anyone finding out that you have done something, you probably shouldn't be doing it. Even lesser offenses have cost people dearly, Georgia schoolteacher Ashley Payne lost her job for posting pictures on her Facebook page, with her settings on "private." She was seen drinking alcohol while on vacation in Europe, while Andrew Kurtz a mascot for the Pittsburg Pirates was fired for voicing his opinion on the team-which was nothing that the thousands of other Pirate fans hadn't already said themselves already. 

Is it awful that women are being exploited on the internet? YES.
Is it disgusting that Emma Watson makes a stand only to have faceless cowards threaten to expose her from the shadows? YES.
Do we all make choices that have sometimes significant unforeseen consequences? YES.

So watch your back.

The internet is not your friend, and it is not safe.

The world still does not respect women very much.

We have a long way to go, ladies and gentlemen. Until we stop harming all other living beings, we are still savages.